The life of sloth. It is over.

So.

It is January 3rd. Let me tell you what I've been doing. As is the most popular new year's resolution, I have decided to lose some weight and get "in shape" (whatever that means). I need to lose at least 20 pounds and really tone up.

I started looking for different options. I know that I could just cut back on portions, but I have little to no self control, so that was out. My neighbor told me about nutri-system, and that she lost 26 pounds on that, but it's kind of expensive. And what if I don't like it? I don't know anything about Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers or any of those, so finally I succumbed to the ad about Slim-Fast and since I have no idea how to diet on my own, I thought a meal replacement system that I don't have to think about would be best for me. So far, my only problem has been the "sensible dinner". I have to think about that one.

I don't know about you, but really, Slim-Fast is one of those things you might buy, but you don't really want anyone to know that you bought it, so it figures that just as soon as we put it in our cart and turned the corner my husband saw not one, not two, but THREE of his friends standing in the aisle talking. I only saw one of them looking at it, but I felt like there was someone behind me with a mega-phone saying "SHE'S TRYING TO LOSE THAT LAST 20 POUNDS OF BABY FAT! NEVERMIND THAT HER BABY IS ALMOST 3 YEARS OLD NOW!" Well, after he saw it, I really have no choice but to lose some weight or else I will look like a loser who buys slim fast for fun or something.

The first day I started (December 29, I think) I drank two shakes and ate "a sensible dinner". The next morning I woke up and had gained 2 pounds. But I am persistent. So, I kept going. I'm not seeing any real results just yet, but it hasn't been a week either. I have lost that initial two pounds, but that could be that my scale isn't the most accurate. Or who really knows, maybe I lost it.

As for the getting in shape part of my resolution, I got on my elliptical machine that I just had to have a couple of years ago. My husband left his iPod at home yesterday, so I got it out and put the "ear buds" in my ears. I hate "ear buds". I don't even like the name of them. They finally got in there and then I had to wade through the thousands of horrible songs to find something that I could stand. Just when I was really getting into the groove of the music and the groove of the elliptical steps (ellipsis?), I got the wire of the ear buds caught around the handle of the elliptical and in one swift motion, it jerked the earbuds completely out of my ears and I nearly dropped the iPod. I was thinking that maybe I could just put the ear buds back and keep going, but when I found the ends of the wire, the black foam things were missing. I looked all over the floor, when I realized that they were stuck in my ears! Thankfully they came out easily. (Can you imagine explaining that one in the ER?) Needless to say, that was the end of the cardio session for yesterday.

As for the strength training portion, Gilad from "Bodies in Motion" kicked my gluteus maximus. I can remember when I was in high school doing that show and wondering what was the big deal? Well, that was when I was playing tennis, basketball, and cheerleading every day and I didn't have an ounce of fat on my entire body. Those were the days. The days that will never return thanks to my two beautiful children and my ever slowing metabolism and general laziness.

I'll keep going and checking in with my progress at least to be accountable somewhere. I'm too afraid to tell anyone I see on a regular basis. What if I quit or it doesn't work?